How Do I Know I Need Therapy? Six Questions to Ask Yourself
While therapy can be beneficial to anyone, not everyone needs therapy. Therapy takes time, money, motivation and effort to engage in. For some people they may not have the resources, or they may not have the time in their daily lives to attend consistently. Figuring out if the time is right for you is an individual decision.
To decide whether therapy is right for you, ask yourself these questions…
Are there negative patterns in my life that keep repeating no matter what I do?
While we all may have some negative habits or patterns occasionally (we’re human!), catching yourself consistently getting stuck in a loop of experiencing the same negative patterns in your life could be a sign that you need therapy. A few areas to look at more closely:
1. Repetitive Relationship Issues: Are you continually encountering problems in the relationship such as communication, trust issues, patterns of conflict and unresolved issues? We like to ignore the problems and hope they go away, but unfortunately most of the time they don’t. You may find you’re just creating a cycle of frustration and dissatisfaction.
2. Persistent Feelings of Anxiety and Depression: Again, we’re humans and humans have a large range of emotions. We will all experience sadness and anxiety at times. However, experiencing anxiety and depression that lasts most of the day, every day, for months or years may be a sign that you need some help. These emotions can be overwhelming and debilitating, often leading to exacerbating other symptoms or contributing to self-destructive behaviors.
3. Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Turning habitually to unhealthy coping strategies such as overeating, overuse of alcohol, drug-use, excessive tv or social media, and shopping, can feel great in the moment. These are common methods used to numb and avoid the underlying issues but they can contribute to self-sabotage.
4. Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Undermining your own success or happiness is a common experience. Whether it’s procrastination, self-doubt, low self-esteem, or perfectionism, self-sabotage can prevent you from reaching your goals and fulfilling your potential.
Is life often so overwhelming that I don’t know how to handle it?
Occasional days of feeling overwhelmed are normal but if you are experiencing some of the following symptoms it may be time to seek a therapist:
1. Physical Symptoms: Pay attention to physical cues such as headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, or changes in appetite and sleep patterns. These can be signs that your body is under stress and may indicate that you're feeling overwhelmed.
2. Difficulty Concentrating: If you find it challenging to focus or concentrate on tasks, even simple ones, it could be a sign of overwhelm. Your mind may feel scattered, making it difficult to prioritize and complete tasks effectively.
3. Feeling Irritable or On Edge: When overwhelmed, you may find yourself feeling more irritable, agitated, or on edge than usual. Small inconveniences or disruptions may trigger stronger emotional reactions than they typically would.
4. Increased Anxiety or Worry: Feeling anxious or worried about multiple aspects of your life, such as work, relationships, finances, or health, can indicate overwhelm. You may find yourself constantly anticipating problems or catastrophizing potential outcomes.
5. Avoidance Behavior: Avoiding tasks or responsibilities because they feel too overwhelming or daunting is a common coping mechanism when feeling overwhelmed. Procrastination or avoidance can provide temporary relief but often leads to increased stress in the long run.
6. Feeling Exhausted: Overwhelm can drain your energy reserves, leaving you feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, even after minimal exertion. You may feel like you're running on empty and struggle to find motivation or enthusiasm for activities you once enjoyed.
7. Difficulty Sleeping: Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or experiencing restless sleep patterns can be indicators of overwhelm. Racing thoughts or worries may keep you awake at night, exacerbating feelings of stress and fatigue.
8. Social Withdrawal: Feeling overwhelmed may lead to withdrawing from social activities or isolating yourself from others. You may lack the energy or desire to engage with friends and family, preferring solitude instead.
9. Increased Sensitivity: Overwhelm can heighten your sensitivity to stimuli, making you more reactive to noise, light, or other environmental factors. You may feel easily overwhelmed by sensory input that you typically wouldn't notice.
10. Physical Health Decline: Chronic overwhelm can take a toll on your physical health, leading to a weakened immune system, digestive issues, or other health problems. If you notice persistent physical symptoms that coincide with feelings of overwhelm, it's essential to address both the emotional and physical aspects of your well-being.
Do I feel stuck?
General feelings of being stuck in a rut can be an indicator that you could use a different perspective or a change in mindset. Are you experiencing any of the following?
1. Lack of Direction or Purpose: You may feel uncertain about your goals, passions, or purpose in life. There's a sense of aimlessness or confusion about which direction to take, leading to feelings of stagnation.
2. Feeling Trapped in a Routine: You find yourself going through the motions day after day, without any meaningful changes or progress. Your routine feels monotonous and unfulfilling, leaving you craving something more but unsure of how to break free.
3. Persistent Dissatisfaction: Despite outward success or achievements, you feel a persistent sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness. Material possessions or external accomplishments fail to bring lasting happiness or fulfillment.
4. Fear of Change: You may feel paralyzed by the fear of making changes or taking risks. Even if you recognize that your current situation isn't ideal, the thought of stepping out of your comfort zone feels overwhelming or daunting.
5. Self-Doubt and Low Self-Esteem: Feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness hold you back from pursuing your dreams or taking action towards your goals. You may doubt your abilities or fear failure, leading to a lack of confidence and initiative.
6. Comparison and Envy: You often compare yourself to others and feel envious of their accomplishments or perceived success. This comparison mindset undermines your self-esteem and reinforces feelings of being stuck or inadequate.
7. Lack of Progress or Growth: Despite your efforts, you don't see any tangible progress or growth in your personal or professional life. It feels like you're spinning your wheels and getting nowhere, leading to frustration and disillusionment.
8. Feeling Disconnected or Isolated: You may feel disconnected from others or struggle to form meaningful connections and relationships. This sense of loneliness or isolation further exacerbates feelings of being stuck and unfulfilled.
9. Health Issues or Burnout: Physical symptoms such as chronic stress, fatigue, or health problems may arise from prolonged feelings of being stuck or unfulfilled. Ignoring these warning signs can lead to burnout and further exacerbate feelings of stagnation.
10. Resignation and Hopelessness: Over time, you may develop a sense of resignation or hopelessness about your situation. You feel like nothing will ever change, and you're destined to remain stuck in your current circumstances indefinitely.
Did I experience a traumatic event and can’t seem to “get over it”?
It is often a natural process to move through healing after a traumatic event, however sometimes the negative experience can get stuck, signaling that we need a little help. If you are experiencing some of the following, you may need some outside assistance.
1. Flashbacks or Intrusive Memories: You find yourself experiencing vivid and distressing flashbacks or intrusive memories of the traumatic event. These memories may be triggered by certain sights, sounds, or smells, causing you to relive the experience as if it were happening again.
2. Avoidance Behavior: You go out of your way to avoid reminders of the traumatic event, such as places, people, or activities that you associate with the experience. Avoidance behavior may provide temporary relief from distress but can ultimately reinforce feelings of fear and anxiety.
3. Hyperarousal or Hypervigilance: You feel constantly on edge or hyperalert, as if danger is always lurking around the corner. You may have difficulty relaxing or sleeping, and you may be easily startled by loud noises or sudden movements.
4. Emotional Numbness: You feel emotionally numb or detached from your surroundings, as if you're going through the motions of life without truly experiencing it. This numbness can serve as a coping mechanism to protect yourself from overwhelming emotions but can also interfere with your ability to connect with others and experience joy.
5. Mood Swings or Irritability: You experience frequent mood swings, ranging from intense sadness and despair to anger and irritability. These mood changes may be unpredictable and difficult to manage, affecting your relationships and overall well-being.
6. Negative Beliefs or Self-Blame: You harbor persistent negative beliefs about yourself, others, or the world, such as feeling fundamentally flawed or believing that you're to blame for what happened. These beliefs can contribute to feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-worth.
7. Difficulty Trusting Others: You struggle to trust others or form close relationships, fearing that you'll be betrayed or harmed again. This distrust may stem from feelings of vulnerability or a belief that the world is inherently unsafe.
8. Physical Symptoms: You experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or muscle tension, which may be manifestations of the emotional distress caused by the traumatic event. These physical symptoms can be a sign that your body is still processing the trauma and seeking resolution.
9. Social Withdrawal: You withdraw from social interactions or isolate yourself from others, preferring to be alone rather than risk being triggered or overwhelmed by social situations. This withdrawal can lead to feelings of loneliness and further exacerbate feelings of isolation.
10. Impact on Daily Functioning: The trauma continues to interfere with your ability to function in daily life, affecting your work, school, or relationships. You may struggle to concentrate, experience memory problems, or have difficulty completing tasks that were once routine.
If I paid for therapy and I saw changes in my life, would it be worth it?
Whether you choose to use your insurance benefits or choose to pay out of pocket for therapy, it can be a big investment. You may be held back by the thought of spending your hard-earned money. Yet, you may easily spend money without much consideration on food, entertainment, alcohol, clothing, hair, and fitness. Think ahead and imagine what life would be like if you saw changes in your life and mental health. How would your life be different? Would that be worth the investment?
Do I have the time to be consistent and seek change?
Unless you choose to do an intensive, therapy can last a long time. It generally takes a weekly or bi-weekly time commitment, for several months at least, to see progress. Sometimes life is very busy, and some seasons of life may be less ideal to begin the therapy process. Ask yourself if you can commit to consistently show up. If your schedule is too full maybe, it’s time to move some things around or drop some things to make room for therapy. Through prioritizing your mental health and consistency you will see results.